For three days now we've known mom has cancer. My greatest fear, that my mom has something very seriously wrong with her, has come true. This time though it's not a bad dream I'm going to wake up from with a heavy pounding heart. It's a reality that follows all day and night with a heavy broken heart.
I spent the night with mom at the hospital last night. I was really looking forward to spending that one-on-one time with her. Stacy warned me that she snores alot. It wasn't bad at all. She did have one bad coughing/choking spell. She spit up some fresh blood then felt better and we slept until about 7:30 this morning.
I went downstairs and got us tacos for breakfast. I pulled my chair up to her bed and we had breakfast together. God is this real? I can't really be typing this. I just don't want this to be real. I just want my mommy to be mommy, healthy, making brownies mommy. Not sick with no energy in the bed mommy.
Anyway, I brushed her hair for her this morning and pulled it back in a clip. I'm glad she didn't see me crying. I don't want to think about a time when I won't be able to brush her hair. Her soft soft hair.
I also painted her toes and rubbed lotion on her feet.
And I was so thankful that I could do that.
We moved mom to a rehab hospital today. She was so nervous to leave the regular hospital. CC stayed with her tonight. I gave mom extra kisses. I don't want to pass up one opportunity to kiss her, hold her hand or tell her I love her.
The doctor said she won't get strong enough for treatment if she stays in the hospital on morphine. I agreed with him and told him I want her in the rehab as soon as possible so we can get the PET scan and know what we're dealing with.
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Feathered Nest Friday
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