Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Roses..and missing her

I was so upset when my roses developed Black Spot. The Red Cutter seems to be ok...
however, sadly, that doesn't seem to be the case for my favorite Peace Rose. 
I was super excited to see a few blooms on my Red Cutter rose bush...
and there are a few more buds too! 
My knockouts are doing great....thankfully they aren't effected by Black Spot!
Today has just been a bad, funky day.
My neck and shoulder have hurt so bad...
My last two fingers on my left hand were giving out. I couldn't even hold my coffee mug.
and it made typing at work pretty difficult!
I did something I swore I wouldn't do yet. 
I looked at my posts from one year ago...when everything with Mom was happening.
One year ago she was diagnosed with another blood clot and her blood levels were very low.
I read about how she was remembering things she used to do with the girls,
and how she would go walk at the mall every morning. 
She always wanted me to join her and I never made the time.
I would give anything to just have one morning with her to walk the mall and do that.
I may have had a Mama Meltdown.
Then Emil reminded me...tomorrow is the 18th.
It'll be eleven months since she left us.
Eleven months since I've heard her voice, felt her touch.
Eleven months since I've had a mother.
Eleven long months without my best friend.
It's been rough.
I always have my radio on in my car to Sirius channel 19...all Elvis.
This song came on and it just reminded me so much of her.
Because it's true...I do look for anything that's a part of her.


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