Wednesday, April 30, 2014

April Happenings

My girls have been so good at taking care of me and helping me through this recovery. 
CC brought me home this delicious peach/raspberry cupcake from GiGi's.
I loved that the icing wasn't so sweet it burned your mouth and the cake part was really moist and flavorful.
CC also brought home my favorite flowers for me...tulips.
They just don't last long enough. 
I have tried growing tulips bulbs in the past and it just never works for me. I know that I don't have the green thumb that mom and CC have, so I know that is a factor, but I think the hot, dry Texas weather is just not what the tulips like. 
I have certainly been having my share of coffee. I love these disposable cups Starbucks came out with. I have a few at work and before I left for surgery I picked a few up to have here at the house. They are so convenient and can be used for hot and cold beverages.  
Since all i can do it sit all day, I've been getting in plenty of snuggle time with this fatty. 
I can't help but think of what kind of life he must have had before we found him. He was so skinny, full of worms and abandoned in a dog park. I took him home, fed him, had him vaccinated and neutered and fell so hard in love with my fat boy.
I think he was around 5 pounds when we got him. He's not over 18 lbs!
He's still so very skittish and will lay far away so that if you want to pet him you have to put in the work. 
So when he comes and snuggles up with me like this, it is HUGE! It's a giant leap of trust for him and I treasure it! 
I did manage to go outside to look at my roses. My poor babies are really suffering with out. I am surprised they survived at all. Out of the five I had, only two are left. This injury has really effected every aspect of my life. Losing my Peace rose because I was unable to care for them nearly did me in. They were a gift from Emil and the girls and this injury took that away from me too. 
Anyway, my knock-out roses are going wild. I love looking out my window and seeing the bush full of red and dark pink blooms. 
No matter how hard I try, I can never capture the beauty of the color of the knock outs. 
This bush was so small when they planted it and the roses themselves were so small at first. 
Over the years the blooms have gotten bigger and that bush is nearly out of control. I have heard trimming it down during winter is best, but I am too scared that I will over trim and kill it. 
And Emil's pomegranate tree is producing what we thought were tiny fruits. I see now when I look outside that it is actually flowers blooming that have petals the exact color of the bud. I can't wait until this tree actually produces fruit. 
Mom got this tree for Emil since pomegranates are the national fruit of 
Armenia....or something like that. He's Armenian and he tells us all the time how that is THEIR's native to their land...
So my Papa Bear has his own pomegranate tree...from my mama. 
My sweet mother in law came to stay a week with us and help take care of me. It was such a treat and blessing to have her here. I miss having a mama in my life. I think I convinced myself that I really am ok without having a mom. That I am strong and can handle anything by myself, because since Mom died I have no one to fall back on, lean on and get advice from. It's me now making decisions and learning as I go.
So, to have a mom here doting on me, cooking me soup, talking with me, hugging me, loving me, tucking me felt great. 
I really didn't realize how much I miss that.
I told Emil he doesn't realize how fortunate he is to have his mom and I admit, when I saw her hugging him and kissing him goodnight, I got a little jealous. 
I got the same hugs and kisses from her, but she will never be my mom. She can love me like a mom and take care of me like a mom but she will never be MY mom.  
I did try to venture out to the park with the girls the other day. I lasted all of 15 minutes then had to sit in the car.
All I could do was wish I was back in my recliner. 
There were tons of yellow wild flowers in the park. I wish there were more bluebonnets. 
I also went to my surgeon's office last week to have my bandages removed. I went up to their office, down a few floors for the x-ray and then back up to the surgeon to have the bandages removed. 
As I sat and waited to be called I placed one foot behind the other while sitting and felt the stones of one shoe. Now I knew that I selected the polka-dot bow shoes because they matched the polka-dots on my shirt.
Imagine the surprise when I lifted my legs and saw I left the house AND paraded around the doctors office and xray clinic WITH TWO DIFFERENT SHOES ON!
I could have died. I told Emil we had to go straight home and get me different shoes. 
That didn't happen. 
I was embarrassed....but, that's what happens when you can't look down! 
I was so ready to get that stupid bandage removed and see what it looked like underneath. 
It's really swollen here and you can't see it that great. But I am pretty sure it's going to scar up. I am devastated about that. I won't be able to wear necklaces and I'm going to have this ugly, visual reminder everyday to look at.
All because I took my girls on vacation. You don't know how many times I've wished we would have chosen a different flight time home or different vacation locale all together.
I'm telling good deed goes unpunished. 
So this is what I look like most days. This was before a bath and my hair is down. I normally have to have my hair up on the top of my head to keep it from getting in the Velcro of the soft brace...and that gives me a headache sometimes. 
I've tried braiding it, putting in pony tails, buns, you name it.
I am afraid that now I'm going to have to go cut my hair short to make life with the braces more comfortable. 
I wear this soft brace in the house when I'm ...sitting.
I have a hard brace that I wear when I'm up for longer than 15 minutes or when I leave the house. 
And the other night this cute little birdie was just hanging out in the salvia bush outside CC's window. He must have been injured because he didn't fly away when we got close and he/she let CC pet it. 
My college course have really been troubled because of this surgery. I am just barely above water in my courses. Thank goodness the end is in sight. I think classes are over the middle of May.
So that's about it. 
I wear and a brace and I sit...all day.
I am sick of watching TV. I am sick of being on the computer. 
But I am alive and that's just fine with me!



I pray your doing and feeling better soon.


Post a Comment