Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Worst Blogger in History? I think so...

Where did the time go? I think this is the longest I have ever gone with out blogging. 
I wish I could say that it was because I was off doing wonderful, fabulous, fun and exciting things...
That wouldn't be true. I've gone through some of the hardest most trying months yet.
This summer brought about the blossoming of my favorite crepe myrtles. I've always wanted to have one or a few of my own..I attempted a few times, but the squirrel in my back yard decided it just wasn't going to happen. 
We have a new member of the family, Koko. She's supposed to be CC's puppy but CC works so much she has zero time for her. Poor Lena has become Koko's mom.
Koko is obsessed with Luigi and drives him crazy. I'm sure on some level Luigi is pissed at us for bringing her home. I like to think she keeps him young! 
Though college football season hadn't yet started, I couldn't resist wearing my Texas A&M shirt. I literally had a count down timer on my phone down to the minute of kick off.
One might call me obsessed... I call it a way of life! 
And I saw this watch at Charming Charlies...gosh, I loved it! 
I also found the pretty necklaces. I would love, love, love to be able to wear necklaces again. I just feel like it would draw too much attention to the scar on my neck.
Now if my scar came about some really cool, story worthy way, I'd totally not be ashamed...but it didn't. I just took my family on a vacation.... 
This summer I also enjoyed grilling some food.
I love to grill. It's just too hot here to do much of anything outside. 
My sister gave me an owl Scentsy warmer shortly after Mom died two years ago. She gave one to me and our other sister, Lisa.
I finally opened mine and set it up. 
I love it. 
I know that it is something Mom would have loved and that makes me sad sometimes. I still have missing Mama days.  
I love how it looks on my side of the bed. I just wish all those stupid wires didn't show. 
I've enjoyed more than a fair share of Starbucks drinks at work. My pants and shrinking checks do not thank me! 
I thought this was the cutest...and the truest!! 
When I first started at my company, my first manager was Marty. She was the sweetest, kindest, most helpful, wonderful mentor, manager and friend ever.
She retired after 25 years with the company. 

Our old team has since moved on to different departments and different teams, but we all got together at Grimaldi's pizza to give Marty a sweet send off.
I really do miss her!
Marty wasn't the only one leaving the company. 
Erin and I went through training together and became friends fast.
This girl can make you laugh when all you want to do is cry. 
She has given me some of the best advise, words I will remember and keep in my heart through out life.
Sometimes it's so hard to see what you don't want to see or you refuse to believe and it takes a real friend to break it down and slap you with the ugly truth. If you have a friend like that, keep her...I'd rather have the ugly truth than sweet lies that will end up causing me pain.
Erin's husband was sent to Alabama for military training. 
My Lena and I had a girls date to the book store. That seems to be one of our favorite places to go. 
I purchased this book, which seems like it's going to be pretty good...if I can find the time to read it! 
Emil and I also had dinner with friends and this cutie and I took a played and played. 
And my Papa Bear surprised me with an A&M charm bracelet. 
I am a HUGE Aggie fan and for me, this IS the most wonderful time of the year!
Everyday Saturday finds me planted to my couch or recliner soaking in every single glorious minute of SEC football!!! 
On a more serious note, this surgery has had some really terrible trickle down effects on my marriage. For the past five months I have been unable to sleep in the bed next to my husband. I have to sleep in my recliner. This has wrecked havoc on my marriage. Just missing that closeness. Having those last moments of the day to talk with each other, hold each other, listen to each other. We've missed all of that. 
I've had to learn how exist on my own with out him. 
He had to try to get used to living with a wife but not necessarily having a wife.
Our communication died. 
Our one-on-one time died.
Our time apart increased.
We almost divorced.
It's been hell. 
What seemed like an answer to all the physical pain I was experiencing resulted in an emotion and mental pain I'm not quite sure I was expecting or equipped for.

We are trying desperately to mend what's been broken.
After 20 years together, you really don't want to just throw in the towel.
We've identified what a big part of the problem was and we are working to fix it.
It will take time. We didn't get here over night...over months, yes...over night, no.

As a re-commitment to each other, he made me my dream ring. 
Just knowing his fingers made this, makes my heart swell. 


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