Playing Catch Up Again

With the one year anniversary of Mom's death coming so soon...gosh, I can't even believe I just typed that..it still seems so unreal...

I have been really sad...couple that with my neck and shoulder pain...

I've been one unhappy person.

I needed fresh air.

So I went to my happy place....

and took my babies with me.

There is nothing about this place that doesn't make me happy.

I love feeling the sun on my skin, hearing the water run over the rapids....

it soothes my soul. 

While it did nothing to ease the pain in my neck and shoulder,

it did calm the ache in my heart. 

My Papa Bear went to Oklahoma with his friend and on the way back he brought me a little present.

Anyone that knows me knows I LOVE Elvis!!!

He and his friend stopped at an antique store on the way home and he brought me two Elvis records and a framed picture.

Ahhhhh....he knows what makes my heart happy!

And I was just thinking how I would love to find a record player and buy some old records. 

When I was little Mom would always have something playing on her record player.

I love the clicks and pops on it.

We listed to Abracadabra and Leo Sayer probably thousands of times!

My red cutter rose gave me some beautiful blooms. 

I found an old glass jar and filled it with water for my roses.

My friend Pam came over and told me how pretty they were.

They went home with her. 

I've been enjoying more than I should of these....

my jeans aren't going to thank me later!! 

When did my baby get so big???

She's going to be a teenager next year.

Where did the time go??? 

And speaking of my baby....

she and CC have this obsession with me and Shaq.

They call him Shaq daddy.

She was snickering and giggling on her computer one evening

and this is what she created..... 

We also visited the Botanical Gardens.

I have always wanted to go. It was so beautiful!

There are just too many pictures for this post...it will need one of it's own.

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I did my first spinal injection.

It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, however, it didn't deliver the desired results.

 

It's a Real Pain in the Neck

That is exactly how I feel almost every, single day.

Ever since the horrendous landing my neck, back and shoulders hurt. 

They hurt all the time...every minute of every day...

there is NEVER a day that goes by that I'm not hurting.

I've never had pain like this...and it's not just the neck cramps and spams,

or the numbness and tingling in my left arm and finger...

not the fact that I lose my strength in my last two fingers and things slip and drop from  my hand...

it's not even the migraines that knock me off my feet...making me feel nauseated, weak and in too much pain to even cry...

though it is all of those things..

It's also my loss of independence. 

I can't clean my house the way I used to.

I can take out the trash or tend to my roses.

I try to wash dishes or sweep and I end up in tears, cramps in my neck and the migraine that I am getting to know so well reappears.

I can't go to the grocery store alone.

I can't carry groceries in. 

It hurts to drive most days.

It hurts to even brush my hair.

I wake up in pain and I go to bed hurting.

Sometimes the pain even wakes me up in the night.

I am sick of complaining that I am in pain all the time...

but it is the truth..I hurt.

All. The. Time.

It NEVER, EVER stops.

I hate this. I haven't been to the gym since the landing...I can't.

I'm always hurting. The pain wears me out. 

We usually always take Luigi to the dog park..that hasn't happened. 

I can't clean the litter box...honestly...if I could NOT hurt ONE day... I would be THRILLED to be able to clean the litter box!!

Spring is here and I can't go out and take pictures of wild flowers.

I can't go visit my family because I don't even want to think what driving 2 hours would do to me.

I found out yesterday that I have bulging discs in my neck. 

Ah-ha... my doctor is recommending spinal injections.

Good lord, I am nervous and scared. 

That just sounds scary but I am so damn sick and tired of hurting and living like this

I am willing to give anything a try. 

I just want to be myself again. 

I want to be able to do things the way I used to.

I want to be me. 

I feel like that is something I will never feel again.

Will I ever experience this....? 

There hasn't been much to blog about because, well, I can't DO anything.

CC got her drivers license...thank goodness.

That has been a HUGE blessing for me. 

It has definitely helped me get around. 

I HATE that I NEED her to take me to the grocery store.

I NEED her to drive, and reach things from the shelf...and put the items on the belt... and put the bags in the car...and carry them in the house...and put them up...

It's ridiculous..I am the mother.

And I'm only 34...it should NOT be this way. 

I HATE that I NEED her to go.. I wish it was like it used to be and I could just WANT her to go with me.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Micah slipped out the other day, and in our trying to get him in, Charlie and Manzy slipped out too.

I did manage to get a couple of photos.

I loved this sky before the little storm blew in.

If anyone knows me, you know I love the cooler/colder weather.

And it was really cool for a few days... 

HOWEVER....

that made my neck and shoulder and back hurt like hell. 

I pray this is not how I will be the rest of my life. 

That's no quality of life..it makes you dread waking up in the morning.

Ugh...anyway.. off of that...it consumes so much of my everyday life I don't want it to consume this blog as well.

I had to snap a picture of sweet Manzy (named after A&M's Johnny Manziel) sitting

in front of CC's salvia.

He just looked too cute. 

And of course my handsome Prince Charlie.

I want to print this and put it on my desk at work. 

My precious little boy will be 13 in a few months. 

My knock out roses are doing beautiful!!

I managed to go out and take a couple of pictures. 

Sadly my Peace Rose and Red Cutter Rose are full of black spot. 

The only way to possibly save it is by removing all the foliage around it that may have the spores,

lay down new soil and treat the bushes with a mixture of baking soda, water and mild dish soap.

Well,...... because of my lovely neck situation...I can't do any of that!!

The most important part..removing the foliage...then laying the new soil...

ha! I'd end up in the ER if I tried to do that with my back.

I will be devastated if I lose my roses because of this stupid injury.

I try to be impartial to my roses..but the Peace rose was always my favorite.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

I am enjoying my new position at work and LOVING the 8 hour days. 

It's definitely helping me rest up more in the evenings.

I love spending more time with the girls..even if I am just on the couch propped up on pillows and full of medicine. I love that I can help Lena with her homework again and I have more time to do my homework too.

I just can't wait for football season to start. I am counting down the days to A&M's first game..August 31.

And it's crazy to say...but I am already starting to conjure up tailgate recipes..haha

I LOVE college football...

August can't get here soon enough!

Pink Saturday - Blooms

We have had rain the past couple of days and my roses have really enjoyed it! I hadn't planned on linking up to Pink Saturday, but after seeing my blooms, I thought this might be the last time I can link my roses up this year!

My Peace Rose is my most favorite rose in my garden. When Papa Bear and CC went to pick out my roses, CC chose the Peace and I'm so glad she did!

I woke up yesterday morning to go take some pictures of my babies and didn't realize it was drizzling a bit. A little rain didn't stop me. I went straight out with my camera and I think the pictures came out beautiful!

My red cutter rose even gave me some blooms.....

I have some knockout blooms and I'm waiting on my white Kennedy roses to bloom.

Yesterday the girls took Charlie out side for fresh air and snapped some pics....

My most handsome, beautiful little boy......

~~~CC~~~

CC and her "brother"

And my Lena...CC said it was a fight trying to get this picture of her. I guess I've taken too many pictures, Lena runs the opposite way when she sees my camera coming out!

This has been a perfect, lazy rainy day. We are still in pj's. We stayed up late last night watching Lifetime's Russian Dolls. I LOVE this show. I'm hoping they renew for a second season. It's just so funny to watch the Russians there having the same drama as the Russian's here. LOVE THIS SHOW!! If you're interested you can watch the whole first season here.

And....don't forget to check out Beverly's beautiful blog for more pinkness!!

Rose Garden Make Over

Two weeks ago my mother came over and we stopped at a few garage sales in the neighborhood. I wasn't really looking for anything in particular. We drove past this one house and there was a little wooden wheelbarrow by the curb for $5. I told Mom I have to have that to put in my rose garden! This was an amazing yard sale! I bought CC so many pretty salwar kameez's. I need to post those pictures.
Anyway, I bought a couple of bags of red mulch to lay down new in the rose garden and placed my new wheelbarrows!


I love putting our potted herbs in veggies in the wheelbarrows. They are pretty and useful!


I moved somethings around in the rose garden. Luigi would find a way to sleep between the roses and in the process push out all the mulch and kick the rose bushes out of the way. This huge pot was purchased at Home Goods last year for $12.



Our bad little squirrel found a new home in it. When I moved it, it was full of his acorns.
He has been successful now in killing three of my crape myrtles!!



When I was paying for my items the lady asked me if I wanted more wheelbarrows. She sent her son off to get them.


He brought out two more. They were each a bit damaged. One had a piece of wood coming un-nailed and the other's wheel lost some of the spokes. She said for $3 I could have these other two.

I snatched them up! I knew they would look great in between the rose bushes. Then I would be able to take an old bag of mulch out and several little rakes. Luigi was persistent to get in the rose bed... I had to get creative to have something between each bush to keep him out.

In the green pot is chives that were planted from seeds and the other pot is miniature roses.

I had to even put a tomato wire thingy around the pomegranate tree because he kicked it around so much trying to lay next to it that it was completely unearthed!

I love the way the rose garden looks now with fresh red mulch and the rustic wheelbarrows!!

This wheelbarrow holds our tomato plants.

I wish I would just get a few more blooms. My roses were soooo good for a period then nothing. How can I wake them up and get some more blooms????

It's been so fun planting these herbs and watching them grow. CC even started a little sprout from the seed of a Cutie tangerine! We are really hoping that one will take off!!

I am so happy we stopped at that yard sale. I was worried Papa Bear would be upset that I brought home three decorative wheel barrows but when he saw how great they look in the rose garden he asked me if she had any more! Ha!

The lady that I purchased them from said they originally came from Kirklands and were $45 each. I believe that! They are still in great condition overall. I was thinking about painting them, a couple red and one white, but I think I like this weathered wood look better!!

First Cut Blooms of 2011

As many of you may know, I am obsessed with my roses. I have wanted a rose bush for longer than I can remember. Last year my sweet Papa Bear gave me a rose garden for my birthday. It was the best gift ever. I was nervous about the winter because I didn't know how to properly care for my bushes and was so worried they wouldn't bloom this spring. I was worrying for nothing! Today I cut my first blooms of 2011 and brought them inside!! I love having fresh flowers in the house. It just seems so fresh and clean. It's hard to explain, I just love it! So far only my cutter reds and my pink knock outs have fully bloomed. My peace rose has a few buds and the white rose bush has lots of buds. The small buds that have opened on the white one have petals lined in a soft pink. So far none have been good enough or large enough to put in with these reds. I might go tomorrow morning to see what I add in here.

I really would like to have some other types of flowers to add in my bouquets. I just don't know what yet.

I bought this pitcher last year at a sidewalk sale. It's handmade by Emerson Creek Pottery. I'm not too familiar with them but I loved the vase and it was at a good price and now I am so happy I bought it. It's been living in my closet since I purchased it!

I love, love, love my roses. Every morning I go outside and check on them. I love to see them grow and see new leaves forming. They truly bring me so much joy! I told my Papa Bear I can never leave this house now because my roses are here!! And on a side note, we have lots of new grape clusters on the grapevine!! I'm very excited about that! I just hope this year those darn aphids don't drain it!!

I think I drank a bit too much coffee too late. It's nearly 2 am and I am still awake!! I will use this time productively..... by taking a break from homework and visiting some blogs! We all need to have some fun once in a while!!