December 2013

December...oh December...

This month kicked my butt emotionally, physically, mentally.

I am soooo happy it's almost over!

I did get some snuggle time in with Bella this month. 

I can see a big difference in her. 

She's not as mean...and she's been using the litter box.

I'm sure she misses Mom as much as we all do!

I found this Essie polish. I hate paying full price for polishes since I still receive EXCELLENT discounts from the wholesaler Mom used to purchase from! 

The girls and I went for evening walks when the weather permitted it.

I won't walk in rainy or too cold weather.

We used to bundle up and enjoy walking in the cold, however, with my neck/shoulder situation that is no longer a possibility. 

My Influenster Jolly VoxBox came.

There were some pretty neat items in it. 

We have had some really cold, cold weather. One morning my front left door was even frozen shut. 

I finally used my Birchbox points and purchased our favorite hot tea from Mighty Leaf... Chamomile Citrus.  

If you haven't signed up for Birchbox, you can do it here. 

I look forward to my Birchbox each month. Lately they have been so good and there's almost always one product that I favorite! I even subscribed Emil the Man's Birchbox. He loves it!

It's hard to believe my baby will no longer be a baby. In 13 days she will be 13.

I can't handle it. I need time to stop....now. 

Then just a few weeks later my CC will be 18. Time really does fly.

It's sad.

I was looking through old pics and found this of me and my sweet friend Ebony.

She moved to NY to be with family. I miss her and our conversations so much. She's one person I can truly tell everything to and not have to worry about being judged. 

She listens. And she loves. She's the best friend anyone could ask for. 

While cleaning I found a box of Mom's earrings that I forgot I had. 

It's always nice to find little surprises like that.

Ha...I just noticed my feet in this pic...

my feet in the last pair of shoes Mom gave me.

How appropriate! 

And of course I enjoy wearing her earrings. We certainly did have the same taste in earrings. 

The girls and I have also enjoyed taking silly photos. 

I really need them to stop growing up so fast.

I love that they still love to be with me and want to be with me.

I treasure every minute together with them. 

My Aggies are playing the Chick-Fil-A Bowl on New Years Eve.

I'm pretty sure this is Johnny Manziel's last college game. 

So my CC bought me a A&M cap to get game ready! 

Abdelkrim is here visiting us. It's our annual December tradition.

And what is a visit from Ab with out playing a little Monopoly.

He assured me that he would win this time. 

He didn't. 

Twice. 

I certainly enjoyed beating him. He wasn't a fan of losing though.

He's a world renowned scientist.

He's made amazing achievements in cancer research.

And he can't beat me at Monopoly.

In 28 years, he's only beaten me once...last year.

Roses..and missing her

I was so upset when my roses developed Black Spot. The Red Cutter seems to be ok...

however, sadly, that doesn't seem to be the case for my favorite Peace Rose. 

I was super excited to see a few blooms on my Red Cutter rose bush...

and there are a few more buds too! 

My knockouts are doing great....thankfully they aren't effected by Black Spot!

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Today has just been a bad, funky day.

My neck and shoulder have hurt so bad...

My last two fingers on my left hand were giving out. I couldn't even hold my coffee mug.

and it made typing at work pretty difficult!

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

I did something I swore I wouldn't do yet. 

I looked at my posts from one year ago...when everything with Mom was happening.

One year ago she was diagnosed with another blood clot and her blood levels were very low.

I read about how she was remembering things she used to do with the girls,

and how she would go walk at the mall every morning. 

She always wanted me to join her and I never made the time.

I would give anything to just have one morning with her to walk the mall and do that.

I may have had a Mama Meltdown.

Then Emil reminded me...tomorrow is the 18th.

It'll be eleven months since she left us.

Eleven months since I've heard her voice, felt her touch.

Eleven months since I've had a mother.

Eleven long months without my best friend.

It's been rough.

I always have my radio on in my car to Sirius channel 19...all Elvis.

This song came on and it just reminded me so much of her.

Because it's true...I do look for anything that's a part of her.

Baby Steps in Her Shoes...

When we were little Mom always sewed dresses for us. In fact, I still have a dress in my closet that she sewed for me about 15 years ago. She made dresses for my niece when she was a baby and would always hem our jeans and pants. I've since been taking our jeans to a tailor for alterations.
After Mom passed I inherited her sewing machine. It's been up in my closet collecting dust. I'd been researching simple ways to hem jeans. Taking each item to an tailor gets expensive! So last night I took her sewing machine down. I found an old pair of jeans in my closet and went to work.



Oh my goodness... I can't explain the feeling that went through my body, sitting at my table with her sewing machine in front of me and fabric under my fingers. It was surreal. It was like something I was supposed to do. It felt so real. It felt right. Placing my foot on the pedal, where she placed her foot and moving the arm up and down, just as I watched her do so many, many years of my life was something so very special. It felt magical. I felt so close to her.



This was just a beginning for me. I can't wait to purchase a few more cheap jeans and try again. Mom and I were looking at skirt patterns before she got sick, in fact some are still on my eBay watch list. Before the end of the year I hope to make a skirt on my own. I want to make our never completed project a reality.
In my enthusiasm to try my hand at sewing, I broke Moms needle. I went to the fabric store to buy some new ones.



It took me back to when I was a little girl. Mom always had a button jar filled with such an array of buttons. Some buttons still held pieces of aging fabric. I spent many hours tipping the jar over and playing with each button, stroking the thin material. I loved thinking of the stories each of the buttons held, just as each button held together two pieces of fabric making something out of what was once nothing. Each trip to the fabric store brought home a new present for me. Mom would allow me to pick one card of buttons to add to the jar. My eyes today immediately went to these buttons, much the same as my buttons of choice as a child.






Even though I brought home new buttons, it was the old worn buttons in her jar that always peaked my interest. After I told my girls this story they showed me the buttons they liked. CC liked these...


Mom would have loved them too! Lena liked these...

They are so Lena! We found a really cute button jar idea at Homestead Handcrafts layer this afternoon. We girls are going to start a little button jar project for ourselves. I can't wait until we finish!

Walking through the store, I found so many fabrics that I fell in love with. I felt wheels turning in my head and even a few heart palpitations!

I felt that burning, tingling in my finger tips again.








I have so many ideas. My girls were having fun pointing out and picking fabrics and shades they loved too.



These were Lena's choices.



CC loved this blue and black fabric.



I have always been mesmerized by soft whites with just a hint of sparkle.

After dreaming through the fabric store we rested a bit taking in tacos and coffee.

We enjoyed the cool morning, warming sunshine and hot coffee.

We were quite ready to go home just yet, so we stopped by Homestead Handcrafts. I absolutely love this store. They have the perfect mix of vintage, new, modern, country and a few quirks here and there. I found this vintage handbag that I feel hard in love with. It took very much self control not to bring it home.

Lena loved this sign...

We loved the movie The Help. These words stuck with us. I don't think any of us really believe these things about ourselves.

I found this dish towel that is just perfect for any kitchen in the South...

It was nice revisiting my past memories and hopefully creating new memories with my girls today.

Only two more work days until my vacation. Oh, how I hope they go by fast!
So, with the passing of these next two days here Roger Miller singing "King of the Road". This was one of Mom's, and now one of my favorite songs!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

San Antonio Rodeo 2012

The girls have been wanting to go to the rodeo, so Thursday we picked up Mom and headed over. We lucked out and found good parking, which would turn out not so great when we left, we exited the rodeo on the complete opposite side and had to walk what felt like hours to get to the car. In reality it was only a ten to fifteen minute walk, but we were so tired and thirsty and exhausted I felt like calling a cab to drive me to my car! Ha!

We walked through the cattle area upon entering the rodeo. You can imagine how marvelous it smelled. We also left the rodeo this way but somehow ended up so far away from our car. I never in my life saw my Mom walk as fast as she did when she walked through this area!

Outside....

We walked around inside, looked at all the vendors then headed out for some snacks. The weather was nice, almost too warm, quite a departure from the usual Rodeo weather, where we are bundled up and hoping not to get sick from being out in it.

The HEB Buckaroo attraction was cute. We "milked" a cow, saw different veggies being grown, saw live bees making honey. It was neat.

We headed over to the carnival. CC wanted to win a goldfish (there were none), Lena wanted to find and win a Domo (which she did) and I wanted a funnel cake!

Lena "threw" two hoops over the ducks heads...thank you carnival worker lady!

And she picked out her Domo......

And I got my funnel cake!! I remember when my grandmother used to make them homemade for me....there is nothing like it! I remember standing by her at the stove and watching in excitement as she snaked the batter around and around and looped it about, making it just right!

Earlier in the week (Tuesday) Mom came over and we girls left to run some errands. We ended up at World Market. I found this lovely French clock (who am I kidding? It was probably "Made in China!")...it was huge!! I would love to be able to incorporate it somewhere in my decor.

Mom, being the artist she is, found these prints that she loved. This ship was her favorite, minus the boy and dog.

And if you know Mom, especially circa 1980's Mom, this would have fit in perfectly to any room of our house. I do hope she recreates this one. I told her if she does, I want it!

And Lena found this strikingly handsome man on a St. Patrick's Day card....it was too funny, and really gross at the same time, to NOT take a picture of!

Yesterday we visited Sister Lassen. She has been sick with her heart. I brought her a rotisserie chicken, beans and potato salad, just a little something so she doesn't have to worry about cooking for a couple of days. She was out of breath and easily tired but we had a nice visit and chat and of course listened to her wonderful stories. That woman should write a memoir. Her life has been a truly interesting one. She even showed us the ship she came over from Denmark on, along with the schedule and weather detail from 1953!

I also visited a former boss who had a heart attack the night prior. Maria was so happy to see me. She cried. I brought her a lovely bouquet of flowers. I am keeping both Maria and Sister Lassen in my prayers. They are both remarkable ladies who have so much to give those around them!