Out With The Old, In With The New

This year was almost as hard as last year. 

Last year I lost my mom to cancer. 

This year I lost my nephew to suicide and my 13 yr old cat, Charlie, died.

My CC experienced her first break up.

Emil's father died.

I took my family on vacation and ended up with a serious neck/shoulder injury that only gets worse each day and makes me a very not nice person. 

I live in pain each day. I cannot do anything that I used to do. 

My entire daily life...work, personal, private...all changed in an instant.

Some good things happened too.

I got a promotion at work.

I think I have learned how to be a grown up.

I've learned that while I will never get over Mom's death, I have learned how to live with it.

I'm 2 classes away from a degree. 

My Aggies won the Chick-Fil-A-Bowl!!!!

For this coming new year..in exactly 45 minutes, I want/hope for several things.

1.) I hope that I will learn to appreciate all that I have, big or small.

2.) I hope that I will learn to go with my gut instinct...it's usually right.

3.) This will probably be my last New Years Eve in this house...I hope next year will find me warm and happy.

4.) I hope I organize my time wisely and make the most of each minute.

5.) I hope I answer my phone more often and return calls more regularly.

6.) I hope CC finds who she is and what she's worth and never forgets it.

7.) I hope I help her.

8.) I hope Lena will take school a little more seriously.

9.) I hope Lena realizes how wonderfully amazing and unique she is and what a privilege it is to be her mother.

10.) I hope Emil finds a place of comfort, strength and permanence.

11.) I hope we find some activity we can do as a family that will work towards a healthier, happier us.

12.) I hope that no matter where we end up, we will form and maintain a strong bond.

13.) I hope we each one of us find something each day to smile about.

14.) I hope Johnny Manziel stays one more year at A&M...who am I kidding? I'm sure he and Mike Evans are gone!

15.) I hope to finally sew a skirt from the pattern I bought earlier this year.

16.) I hope CC makes wise financial decisions.

17.) I hope Lena will find a solid confidence that cannot be broken.

18.) I hope Emil and I have more date nights, even if it's just going to Barnes & Noble.

19.) I hope we continue our weekend drives to nearby towns.

20.) I hope we will all be happy and content all of 2014.

December 2013

December...oh December...

This month kicked my butt emotionally, physically, mentally.

I am soooo happy it's almost over!

I did get some snuggle time in with Bella this month. 

I can see a big difference in her. 

She's not as mean...and she's been using the litter box.

I'm sure she misses Mom as much as we all do!

I found this Essie polish. I hate paying full price for polishes since I still receive EXCELLENT discounts from the wholesaler Mom used to purchase from! 

The girls and I went for evening walks when the weather permitted it.

I won't walk in rainy or too cold weather.

We used to bundle up and enjoy walking in the cold, however, with my neck/shoulder situation that is no longer a possibility. 

My Influenster Jolly VoxBox came.

There were some pretty neat items in it. 

We have had some really cold, cold weather. One morning my front left door was even frozen shut. 

I finally used my Birchbox points and purchased our favorite hot tea from Mighty Leaf... Chamomile Citrus.  

If you haven't signed up for Birchbox, you can do it here. 

I look forward to my Birchbox each month. Lately they have been so good and there's almost always one product that I favorite! I even subscribed Emil the Man's Birchbox. He loves it!

It's hard to believe my baby will no longer be a baby. In 13 days she will be 13.

I can't handle it. I need time to stop....now. 

Then just a few weeks later my CC will be 18. Time really does fly.

It's sad.

I was looking through old pics and found this of me and my sweet friend Ebony.

She moved to NY to be with family. I miss her and our conversations so much. She's one person I can truly tell everything to and not have to worry about being judged. 

She listens. And she loves. She's the best friend anyone could ask for. 

While cleaning I found a box of Mom's earrings that I forgot I had. 

It's always nice to find little surprises like that.

Ha...I just noticed my feet in this pic...

my feet in the last pair of shoes Mom gave me.

How appropriate! 

And of course I enjoy wearing her earrings. We certainly did have the same taste in earrings. 

The girls and I have also enjoyed taking silly photos. 

I really need them to stop growing up so fast.

I love that they still love to be with me and want to be with me.

I treasure every minute together with them. 

My Aggies are playing the Chick-Fil-A Bowl on New Years Eve.

I'm pretty sure this is Johnny Manziel's last college game. 

So my CC bought me a A&M cap to get game ready! 

Abdelkrim is here visiting us. It's our annual December tradition.

And what is a visit from Ab with out playing a little Monopoly.

He assured me that he would win this time. 

He didn't. 

Twice. 

I certainly enjoyed beating him. He wasn't a fan of losing though.

He's a world renowned scientist.

He's made amazing achievements in cancer research.

And he can't beat me at Monopoly.

In 28 years, he's only beaten me once...last year.

November 2013

November was quite a busy month. For me it was crunch time at school. Finals were beginning in full force and I had to make one last ditch effort to pass my two classes.

One assignment that needed completing was a trip to the San Antonio Museum of Art.

I love going to the museum. Thanks to my Archaeology class and my awesome instructor Veronica Pue I see everything in a different light.

The first portion we visited was the Egyptian exhibit.

Loved seeing the jewelry that has been recovered. 

Of course I enjoyed the Italian exhibition and sculptures. I hope one day to visit the museums in Rome and take all that in! For now, though, I'll make do with the bits of Rome and Italy exhibited in America. 

Part of my assignment was the Mayan and Aztec artifacts.

Here is the codex. 

This lady, in part of the Mexico arts section, was sculpted of wood.

The detail was amazing. She is unknown. 

Even her eyelashes were made of hair. 

The girls especially loved the contemporary pieces. 

This 3-D piece was one of my favorites! 

This knife was made of gold and encrusted with diamonds. 

The craftsmanship was just amazing! 

I loved the ancient Chinese vases. 

It's amazing that they are still paired and in such perfect condition! 

November had some very, very cold days.

I have to admit, I loved it! 

And I loved getting to wear my warm snuggly boots!

I picked my Charlie up.

He sits on my nightstand by my bed. 

I spent my Thanksgiving on the couch watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

I love the all male tap group. 

They were pretty awesome. 

I made my turkey casserole with the leftover turkey and stuffing. 

The weekend after Thanksgiving we went to visit my brothers and sisters.

My brother Jr made deer chili.

Oh my goodness...it was delicious! 

Luigi took advantage of the cold weather and spent alot of time on my bed! 

These two boys snuggled lots with me. 

Usually Micah plopped down first then Manziel followed. 

I decided to amp up my accessories and wear earrings again.

I'm not sure if chandelier earrings are in style or not, but I sure love my new purchases.

The girls and I went to see Thor, enjoyed Starbucks coffee, spent a little too much at Bath and Body Works and found a cute store, Charming Charlies. 

My word... I am obsessed! 

It's a really bad thing that we found it.

Work has been so busy. 

I may have even broken down and cried a time or two.

My neck/shoulder situation certainly helps none.

These past two months it has hurt more than ever. 

It seems nothing makes it stop.

Nothing.

I am getting really fed up with it!

I can't believe here it it...December 29...this year is almost over.

Time certainly did fly.

This has been one hard, stressful and sad year.

I really hope 2014 is much different!

Is This My Monthly Post?

I feel like this is me most of the time. 

My head just turns in circles after work and my short drive home sometimes isn't long enough to get out of adjuster mode and into home life mode. 

I absolute love my promotion at work. 

I love my new position.

I love my new team.

But it is alot of work. 

Some days are not bad at all....

and other days....

I pray for sanity to make it through each hour!

Then you get the funny ones....like the 65+ year old man who didn't have money to maintain auto insurance BUT let me know how lonely he's been for the past nine years and he sure will make a trip down here to see me because I sound like a nice woman....

....ummm... No Thank You!

So while I wish most days were like this..... 

they just aren't!

So what have we been up to? The last couple of weeks of October were very pleasant. The first few weeks of November as well. 

We took our boys out to get fresh air.

I will post a couple of pictures of my precious Charlie..... 

and Micah...who rarely goes out. He never wants to come back in! 

And he's scared of the wind and cars and loud sounds....

He probably still has flash backs of being abandoned in the dog park! 

I'm not posting much on Charlie because honestly, my heart just cannot handle it.

He passed away October 21, 2013.

My heart is still broken. I still ache for my baby boy. It hasn't stopped hurting and I still can't stop crying.

He was my love, my baby, my prince, my snuggle buddy, my heart, my son I never had.

Nights are still hard with out him. 

....CHANGE OF SUBJECT....

What else have we been doing?

CC has obviously been taking "selfies".

Lena's been catching up on Grim and Once Upon A Time.

I am enjoying my last few weeks of college football.

And yes, this IS my mantra!

I am pretty sure we watched Johnny Manziel's last game on Kyle Field. 

While I would LOVE nothing more than for him to return one more year, I really don't see that happening.

He is amazing!

He is a talent like we have never seen.

He plays with his heart...I hope that continues as he begins his NFL career!

And of course I have been scouting Aggie gear for the colder weather...

(like what blew in last night!)

Lena's been enjoying watching her Zach Mettenberger, the quarterback for the LSU Tigers.

They meet with A&M today

We are truly a house divided! 

And I even threw in a little NFL watching for good measure. 

I watch ONE Dallas Cowboy game and I end up with a double spider bite on my stomach. 

See....good things just don't happen when you watch the Cowboys play!

November 1 brought back Starbucks red cups!!!

I have certainly had a fair share!!

And the girls and I stocked up on supplies for home made Caramel Apple Cider. 

I made my first batch of Praline Apple Bread this year.

I've really been slacking in the baking department.

This has been a rough year.

The lack of posts, pictures and activities have certainly proved it! 

We girls have also been trying to get in nightly walks. 

There is nothing like ending a crazy, hectic day with a evening walk, breathing in fresh air and being silly with my girls. 

We make some of the best memories on our walks.

I also found this from when we went to Milberger's Autumn/Fall set up. She was spooky, off in a corner. 

I like her! 

.

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I have made the switch from an iPhone to an Android. I'm getting used to it. Never thought I'd be an Android person. It's not SO bad I guess....if I could just learn how to use the darn thing!

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My neck/back problem has not improved. Even after the cervical ablation. I did find some relief initially, aside from the fact that the area gets hot and feels burned, even to this day. My thumb twitches uncontrollably. I tried to buy groceries a couple of weeks ago...just simple things like cilantro, spinach, trout fillets, greens onions...little things like that. 

Just putting the items on the conveyor belt made the neck/shoulder area even worse. I drove home in tears and have been on muscle relaxers ever since. 

I cannot get a good nights sleep because I always hurt. There HAS to be some resolution to this.

People just can't live in pain like this all the time, can they?

I am so tired...tired of being tired, tired of hurting, tired of not being able to do things I used to be able to do, tired of telling my girls I can't do this or do that, or I don't feel like doing or going somewhere because I'm hurting again. These are the last months/years that they are going to still want to do things with me and I'm missing out on all of it. I hate that. You can NEVER get that time back.

I hate that this injury happened. 

I hate that I'm not me. 

My poor husband...I'm not even going there with what all he has had to put up with and without.

I just keep pushing forward...trying to make the best out of what I can do

and just keep praying they'll find some way to help me.