What Were We Thinking ?

Yesterday we had to run an errand downtown. Lena's also been wanting to go downtown and walk the Riverwalk. In theory it was a good idea. In reality it was 104*degrees yesterday.




We still had a good time though...and possibly we had a little heat exhaustion too!
I loved these huge elephant ears. Mom always had elephant ears, and now I want some.




There wasn't alot of people out yesterday. Even the tourists must have stayed inside.




But the scenery along the Riverwalk is just beautiful...








I fell in love with this bridge...




And the small waterfall...












It was so hot we wished we could join this little ducky and cool off...












We ate at Mad Dogs again. I think that was the first time we all ordered water to drink. It was that hot! And I may have had a little extra help cooling off with a Piña Colada and Emil may have had some help with a margarita..or two!
After watching most of the soccer game, Portugal vs Spain, we mustered enough energy to walk back to the car.












I thought I was going to die. It was so darn hot. And I noticed last night I have a little sunburn on my face! No bueno!
Well it's back to work for me for two days, then I'm off again. This new schedule is really nice!
AND my new Keurig Vue is supposed to come today! I warned Emil and the girls not to open it if it does!
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New schedule...

Sunday started my new four day schedule at work. I'm off two days during the weekend and Saturday. It's kind of bittersweet.. This was my first choice schedule out of over 100 so that I could use those two week days to take Mom to M. D. Anderson for treatment. That didn't work out.
So Tuesday we had big plans to get up early, spend the day in Austin (we really should just move there! Nothing is holding me here anymore!) and have fun. Well everyone here slept in until after lunch, so I spent the quiet morning to myself.
I have always saved magazines after finding one or two recipes inside that I might want to try. So last Tuesday morning I grabbed a couple of piles of old magazines and started cutting.


I had bought some pocket folders at Wal-Mart a month or so ago to categorize the recipes. It's no surprise the "Dessert" folder has the most recipes!





My goal is to make each one of those recipes and write the date down on it that we make it. I think it'll be something fun we girls can do together.
Tuesday my new book also came in the mail. I had been wanting this book for so long, and I finally broke down and bought it.


Wednesday began with a doctors appointment for Emil. Then I had a doctors appointment. I'll find out my results Tuesday. I took the girls to the nursery so CC could buy the split-leaf .....ah, the name escaped me. It's a plant Mom always had and it died in the heat wave we had last summer.
I did see hydrangea there. I love hydrangea! We had bought Mom one for mothers day one year.





Thursday and Friday I was back at work. Friday was super stressful. I'm not sure what these drivers were doing but it was crazy! I had to take my girls out for yogurt when I got home.


Saturday we met Mariel and Marcy for lunch at the Cheesecake Factory. Then I let the girls buy what they wanted (for the most part) at Hot Topic. Then we went to Home Good and my girls picked two beautiful, so very sweet gifts for me.



I


Im thinking I want to put some hydrangea in that vase and I need to find a plate stand for my plate. I love my gifts so much. My girls know exactly what I like!
I've got to down a cup of coffee quickly now before heading out to a long and I'm sure crazy busy day at work. Two day. I'll only work two days. Then I'm off for two. I can do this! I think...
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Just the Three of Us...

Until tomorrow. Then my Papa comes home. We girls have been having fun just being together and doing a lot of nothing. This evening we made homemade pizza and CC made Mom's rolls. There was a recipe for them in her old cookbook. They were so good, made me a little sad but so very good.


Emil entered the WSOP tournament in Vegas this past weekend. Us girls were glued to the website on the home comp and on my phone watching the updates to see what was happening.


A total of 2799 people entered the tournament. Emil called me last night and told me he had been knocked out in 50th place. Not bad. Not bad at all. I was so very proud of my Papa. He comes home tomorrow. I can't wait. I've missed him alot. This is only the second time we've been apart like this. I really miss him.

Yesterday the girls and I drove up to Austin after work. I was shocked to see the temperature on the cars thermostat.


We had a windy spurt earlier so I went out to cut the back yard grass. It's definitely needed it. After looking at next weeks forecast I'm glad I did it today.


Then I scrolled down and saw the rest of the forecast...


Ugh... I'm really not ready for this!

And... I forgot to add, we saw this sexy thing when we were leaving Wal-Mart Sunday...



Half of her hair was teal and the other half was black. Interesting.

My new schedule starts this coming Sunday. I'm excited and nervous at the same time.

I'm gonna get back to watch "Bridesmaids" and trying to call my Papa. It's his last day in Vegas and he's not answering his phone. Hmmmm hope he's playing another tournament.
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Our Girls Weekend....

started Thursday night....

Papa Bear is going out of town for five days (he left yesterday) but we decided to get a head start on our fun, mommy/daughters time. We rented "Super 8" from Redbox, went to have some frozen yogurt, then came home and watched our movie. 

We love the decor in here...it's so cute and contemporary. Yo Fresh is our favorite place to go...and Lena bought a really cute painting. It would have been nice if I had taken a photo of that too! 

I don't remember much of what we did Friday night..isn't that sad? Yesterday after dropping Papa off at the airport I went to get my nails done. I had been wanting to do this for years... it's been five years since I had nails. BUT...Mom was a nail technician and hated when I went somewhere else for nails. When she was in the hospital before she passed I asked her if she would mind if I would get nails, she cut those eyes at me and pursed her lips and nodded her head "yes." Well, she won't see them now... and I hope she wouldn't mind if she did...lol...

After doing my nails, coming home and changing clothes, the girls and I went to Grady's for some good BBQ! My Lena had Baby Back Ribs... 

 CC had the sliced turkey plate with spicy bbq sauce. I was surprised she actually found a sauce that even she couldn't handle!

 And of course I had my old favorite, Chicken Fried Steak.....

 And Lena and I shared a half order of fried mushrooms....I think CC even had one!

 We were talking about how nice it would be if after we had dinner we could go to Nanny's house and sit on her couch and talk to her. Mom's exit is only one down from Grady's. Little things like that are still hard. When we walked out CC told me that the second table from the door was where she and Nanny sat when they went there.

Mom would always complain she had bad nights or she was so tired because her Bella was so bad. I honestly thought she was just making things up. How could one cat disrupt that much sleep? Let me tell you...SHE CAN!! Bella is impossible to sleep with. She grumps and complains all night. The past two night Emil and I slept on the couch together because it's just easier than trying to sleep with her...on OUR bed! I love Bella... but she is difficult to live with. I guess Mom spoiled her and completely catered life to Bella's mood. Well, that ain't happening here....and we are paying the price for it!

 I woke up this morning and made a nice cup of coffee. It's been a while since I've been able to do that. And that is exactly what we plan to do today, rest, relax, go where we want to go, come home when we want to come home...throw schedules out the window!

 I even found some time to get on Pinterest.... which is really not a good idea for me. It is so addicting! I've removed the app from my phone a few times. But like any good junkie, within a couple of days I broke down and put it right back on!

Last night the girls and I walked around Wal-Mart until close to midnight. We are rebels, I don't know if I can handles this wild behavior!! haha! We ended up bringing home a braided hibiscus tree as tall as Lena for the front porch, a tomato plant, several pepper plants, an aloe and a pretty bromliad. As soon as these girls wake up we are going to visit a couple of nurseries. Then Gina invited us to lunch and swimming. Sounds good, especially with the temps in the upper 90's. So the question is...do we clean or do we have fun? I'm thinking fun...I can always clean tomorrow!

Tom Tom - Catching Up...

This morning we all decided to go down to Yoakum just for the day for Tom Tom. I hadn't been to Tom Tom in years, so it was really fun to go and see old friend and family. It was nice to get out of the house and not think about things. We all had a good time, I think we just all had Mom in the back of our minds and were thinking how nice it would have been if she had been there!

We stopped at my niece's house before heading over to Yoakum. My Papa bought himself a really nice rod and reel. I can't wait to go to Galveston and try it out!

The carnival was fun. Lena, Tren and Ari rode lots of rides. I even managed to get CC on the zipper. I really wished I had recorded her coming off the Zipper...that was a sight to see! The Zipper used to be my favorite ride growing up, now Lena loves it...CC, not so much. She said the ferris wheel is more her speed!!

Even my Papa Bear got in on the fun. We all had a great time, it was just so darn hot!!

We did manage to fine some good turkey legs on the way home. Those were the biggest, juices, best turkey legs I've ever had. Thank you Regina!!!

 Tren came home from Mom's service with us. Mom had been wanting to see Dark Shadows with Johnny Depp. She LOVED Johnny Depp. We had planned on seeing it the weekend before she started chemo.
Unfortunately we never made it. So, in her honor, I took the kids to see the movie. It was good. But again, I kept thinking about how much Mom would have loved it.

CC made this really delicious Spice Rum Cake. Oh it was good!!! CC said she had a quick run through her mind that she needs to cut a slice and put it on the side for nanny. Mom is everywhere, in all of our thoughts, everyday. It's only been two weeks since she "went to sleep." I keep hearing it will get easier.... but when?

 I did treat myself to a coffee before work this morning. Then I treated myself to another Starbucks at work. I really need to cut down on all these empty calories! But boy, oh boy, was it worth it!!!

Today while at my niece's house I laid down on Mom's couch. I laid there and thought about how much time I had spent on that couch. I spent the night with Mom a few times, that's where I slept. We would go visit Mom each Sunday and I would often fall asleep on her couch. I would sit by her on the couch and watch TV with her or Mom would lay down on her tummy and I would rub the knots out of her leg. So many important, integral parts of my life were on that couch....and now...now they are all just memories.... There was so much for us to still do, learn and see. 

I picked up her ashes Monday. Emil came with me, thank God! The box is heavy. I don't know how I feel. In a way I'm happy she's here with me. But she's not really here. I don't know where to put her. That sounds sick. But I don't know. 

I had my first dream about Mom Friday morning. I dreamed we were all sitting on my bed and Mom was there. She was wearing a purple shirt. She got up from my bed and was walking to the kitchen. I was flooded with emotions and I said I knew it... I knew she wasn't gone.. I knew it was all a bad dream. I KNEW IT!!! I got up and walked behind her and I wanted to just touch to know that it was real, that she was really here and it was all over. The bad dream was all over. I was reaching out to touch her, I was starting to cry because I was so happy it was over and I started calling her name. Just as I was about to touch her arm I woke up. I woke  myself up calling "Mom! Mom!" I woke up from that dream crying. 

Friday was a hard day. One of the hardest yet. I was told that in time I will welcome those dreams. I don't see that happening. I want to remember her. I want to think of her and not hurt. I want to go back to that dream and never wake up. I want my mama.